I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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