I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
