can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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