Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
