Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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