yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
