When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You don't make any sense
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