and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
