I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
