I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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