I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
