Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Randomize
