i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
