dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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