You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
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and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
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Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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