It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You were trust falling into bushes
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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