Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
