We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize