Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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