hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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