I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
