I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
