I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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