I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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