sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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