Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
