The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
