I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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