She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
