Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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