She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
And then he peed in my hair
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