And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize