just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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