Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
