i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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