i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
