you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
