You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
