i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize