bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize