Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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