she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
