Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize