There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Four minutes until I can fart!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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