Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
