The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
