what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
