help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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