im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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