But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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