Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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