I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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