Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
