some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
