its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
