How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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