U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
