I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
