Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
