At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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