So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
