Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
