Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
