i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
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