I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
