Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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