Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
