You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
